matters of the heart...
im 24 and fresh out of college. 2 years of drinking, partying and of course... taking liberties with my sexuality. Relationships are the furthest thing from my mind. Im more then happy to keep the revolving door of women, doesnt matter to me whether they are coming or going.... Its safe, cuddled up in my security blanket, my impenetrable layer of protection. Shielding my emotions, insecurities and making sure that nobody gets through.
2 years later. im 26 and slowly but surely finding myself wanting more. a reformed "player" no longer wanting to be promiscuous. slowly but surely unlatching the locks of my heart and letting people in. sometimes good, sometimes bad...once or twice feeling that i was theived of my dignity in the middle of the night while i slept. wanting to hide, reverting back to my security blanket...lying in bed and pulling it over my head. kinda like Linus of Charlie Brown, but better looking :) that and i dont suck my thumb, often....
im now 28 years old. i have matured in the relationship dept. where once, i couldnt keep my hands ( and / or other parts of the anatomy ) to myself... now i find myself wanting to give, and not just a lil, but EVERYTHING. its the most wonderful, yet most agonizing emotional state. which is why people shy away from relationships, dont like commitment and generally avoid letting anyone anywhere close to their heart.
Today im watching STAR TREK, not the NEXT GENERATION, but the ultra cheese - kirk bangs every race known to man - star ships are flying around on pieces of thread - and you get that feeling, somewhere deep down inside that Dr McCoy and Spock are having a secret gay love affair. which makes one wonder, what does Spocks face look like when having sex... i cant think of anything worse then getting down and dirty with a Vulcan. actually now that i think about it, i think i have seen that face on more then one occasion LoL. Back to the point:
This episode revolved around "Love" and McCoy had this great line that he delivered to Spock after Spock made a comment regarding seeing Kirk in so much pain and agony over the loss of the woman he loved. The line was this -
"I pity you more then i do the captain" the rest is a loose translation:
the point being made was that Spock, void of emotion was the tragic figure in a way. For Spock will never feel the wonders, the pain, the torment nor satisfaction of Love. the miserable failures and the triumphant successes and everything inbetween. the line made me smile, then think... such a discussion would make great debate. the debate being this:
David.
2 years later. im 26 and slowly but surely finding myself wanting more. a reformed "player" no longer wanting to be promiscuous. slowly but surely unlatching the locks of my heart and letting people in. sometimes good, sometimes bad...once or twice feeling that i was theived of my dignity in the middle of the night while i slept. wanting to hide, reverting back to my security blanket...lying in bed and pulling it over my head. kinda like Linus of Charlie Brown, but better looking :) that and i dont suck my thumb, often....
im now 28 years old. i have matured in the relationship dept. where once, i couldnt keep my hands ( and / or other parts of the anatomy ) to myself... now i find myself wanting to give, and not just a lil, but EVERYTHING. its the most wonderful, yet most agonizing emotional state. which is why people shy away from relationships, dont like commitment and generally avoid letting anyone anywhere close to their heart.
Today im watching STAR TREK, not the NEXT GENERATION, but the ultra cheese - kirk bangs every race known to man - star ships are flying around on pieces of thread - and you get that feeling, somewhere deep down inside that Dr McCoy and Spock are having a secret gay love affair. which makes one wonder, what does Spocks face look like when having sex... i cant think of anything worse then getting down and dirty with a Vulcan. actually now that i think about it, i think i have seen that face on more then one occasion LoL. Back to the point:
This episode revolved around "Love" and McCoy had this great line that he delivered to Spock after Spock made a comment regarding seeing Kirk in so much pain and agony over the loss of the woman he loved. The line was this -
"I pity you more then i do the captain" the rest is a loose translation:
the point being made was that Spock, void of emotion was the tragic figure in a way. For Spock will never feel the wonders, the pain, the torment nor satisfaction of Love. the miserable failures and the triumphant successes and everything inbetween. the line made me smile, then think... such a discussion would make great debate. the debate being this:
Would u rather be Captain Kirk - to love, to hurt, to want and to lose -or-
Spock - never knowing, never hurting, nor caring about life with the rewards of love.
Really think about that question. LOGICALLY as Spock would say. Think about it as if you had the choice before you even born to live either way. when you think you have your answer, think about it again... Now that i am where i am, I choose CAPTAIN KIRK :D cause he's a Freakin' STUD! that and im not willing to give up my love affair with the most beautiful girl in the world... Pocahontus ;)
David.
posted by Big mouth | 3:06 PM
3 Comments:
Ohh nice babe !! Haven't a lot of time today - but pleased to observe the evolution u have undetaken.
Love Star Trek too - Spock rules - but I agree - I would rather be Kirk than Spock anyday.
But now I must away again to that activity that interupts my time between weekends - namely my job.
Go forth and prosper John Smith xxx
Wow so touching. And who the hell is David?
I would rather be Kirk. What would life be like without emotion? True, a broken heart is oh so very painful, but it will mend. I couldn't imagine not having those initial feelings of excitement when meeting that special someone. Talking with friends about this great guy you've been dating and how much you can't wait for them to meet him. The nervousness, butterflies, and anticipation. All of those feelings are worth the potential heart ache that may be hiding around the corner. Without emotions I would never have the oportunity to feel the instant love a mother has for her unborn child and that continues to grow stronger and stronger as that fetus is born and grows each and every day right in front of you. I wouldn't be able to experience or understand the heartache my family or friend may be struggling with and wouldn't be capable of consoling them. Life, to me, is emotional.
I am a very emotional person; those that are fortunate enough to have a piece of my heart know how dear they are to me.
Arlene
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