History of Valentines Day...

As early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man’s rite to passage to the God Lupercus. The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men (sweet) a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged…you know, in case she was a bitch, didn’t listen to you when you told her what to do, couldn’t cook or starch your shirts the way you liked.

Regardless, lets call it a PUSSY POT!

After eight hundred years of this practice, the early church fathers, (party poopers) sought to end this practice... They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier (for good reason, that bastard)

Basically, we celebrate Valentine for fu@king up guaranteed pussy for guys! Are you telling me if most fella’s knew this, they would be as excited to perpetuate this ritual? (I think not…) it’s a lil discouraging knowing that at one point in history come this once wonderful day…I knew I was getting some! Now I have to be nice and shi@t if I want some action, fu@k that. I want my lottery back, WHERES MY PUSSY POT!?

(gone)

Now come February 14th, we (the dudes) have to work for it (PFFFFFFT) and all thanks to this mother fu@ker, Mr. Valentine….















Thanks a lot Bi@TcH!

Big Mouth.