The Fury of The Fast Lane"

THE FAST LANE ß Does anyone know what this is, I know lotsa gals DON’T and that’s a fu@king fact. Let me break it down for EVERYONE a.k.a BOTH genders…
the INSIDE LANE is the lane in which FAST MOVING TRAFFIC is designated.

QUICK FACTS (about the inside lane)


- The inside lane is located on the furthest LEFT hand side of the direction you’re traveling

- If you drive a FORD, other then a mustang or a STATION WAGON…you should NOT be on the inside lane

- Once entered onto the INSIDE LANE, contrary to the belief of many… gravitational pull WILL allow you to get OUT of the inside lane.

- You DON’T get better mileage on the inside lane

-If you can’t read what I’m writing – you DEFINITELY shouldn’t be on the inside lane


Here is the golden rule of HIGHWAY DRIVING is this - The INSIDE LANE is for those traveling at HIGHER SPEEDS. If you are on the inside lane and you see a car coming up quickly in your REAR VIEW ( you know, the thing you’re NOT fu@king looking at cause you’re too busy white knuckling it or singing along to NEIL DIAMOND)…that’s YOUR cue to move to the OUTSIDE LANE…that would be the furthest outside lane on your RIGHT, you PRICK!

What gives me instant and absolute rage is when someone is doing their thing on the inside lane, doing about 95-1oo. They see you coming up behind them at 11o – 12o and the outside lane is baron and yet they REFUSE to move to the OUTSIDE LANE…LIKE THEY FU@KING OWN IT.

This is when the SLOW traffic should yield to the QUICKER traffic by moving to the outside lane, letting the faster traffic pass…then by all means, pull back into the inside lane you TURD. In their heads you know they’re saying “I’m already doing the limit, I’m not going to drive any faster then I already am, gosh darnit” and stay in that lane JUST TO PISS YOU OFF -or- throw on their hazards and hit the brakes to make a point, which is more dangerous then the speed in which they oppose so passionately. This is when I wish I could drag these putz’ out of their vehicles and kick their nuts out their @ss!


One would think that the inside lane was in some way performing oral sex on them…if that were the case…I would completely understand ones reluctance to remove themselves from the inside lane. In fact, I would simply sit back, relax…and let the inside lane FINISH, let her clean up…maybe brush her teeth, do the scope thing…THEN make the inside lane MY bi@tch! But of course…that’s not the case, for the inside lane does mpt have lips…it’s a fact.

I’ll tell ya this much, if the inside lane did, in fact… have lips.

INSIDE LANE WOULD BE SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING and telling these individuals to get their Sunday diving @sses to the outside lane or stick to the side roads where they can enjoy the sweet smells of the manure in which I would love to cram down their esophagus so passionately.

Have a nice day.

David.