2 minute sex....
Today while I was driving in the car, I recalled a 2 minute man scenario... From time to time, for some...too many times, men play the role of the two minute man. This is a woman’s way of mocking the male ego, making them feel good about themselves because they know that deep down inside...there is a reason why they were the VICTIM of the 2 minute massacre. I will now, for the first time ever, share with females WHY they end up with the two pump chump.
If you’re in a relationship with a TMM (two minute man) and you’re getting two minute sex:
a) He is a premature ejaculator
b) You're getting fat
c) He is fu@king your best friend
d) Saving himself for a solid Internet porn tug
e) You nag too much, SHUT THE FU@K UP
The correct answer: all of the above, and so fu@king what if I didn’t give you that option.
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If you’re a one night that that got the TMM Treatment:
a) You're a ONE NIGHT STAND, seriously...who cares! I'll letcha in on a secret, NOT HIM!
b) You're a booty call
c) He is never going to see you again
d) He's a premature ejaculator
e) Because you looked better with your clothes on
The correct answer: again, all of the above...deal with it.
CONCLUSION: Here is the sad but honest truth, if you have sex with any man that lasts more than 2 minutes all the time...I don’t want to be that man. Its nice to have a two minute release where you’re not counting the clock and you can just bust your man goo, and smile about it.
If a man fu@ks for more than 2 minutes, he got lucky... Unfortunately there are men out there that have set the standard TOO HIGH for the rest of us. Apparently, some men are having sex as long as up to 5 FU@KING MINUTES...way to ruin it for the rest of us guys. @SSSHOLES!
All joking aside, here are some tips to AVOID the short sex scenario. DONT TALK. Truly, SHUT UP...just take your clothes off - then get on - the desired penis. Too much foreplay, too much anticipation is just going to get him TOO EXCITED, and what happens when men get too excited ladies...that’s right, they make paper mache paste. Another one would be give and take, for instance:
1o minute sex and beyond = you swallowing and not complaining about it, or saying you’re going to gag or throw up. Again, SHUT UP and just DO IT. Same goes for being on top ladies, SUCK IT UP... we don’t want to hear about how shy you are. You think its cute, men think its gay. We don’t want to hear about your leg or jaw cramping, don’t want to hear about your bad knees...at this point, where you’re both naked, there is one thing a man is thinking about. That thought:
PENETRATION. Now get to work... CLASS DISMISSED!
Big Mouth.
If you’re in a relationship with a TMM (two minute man) and you’re getting two minute sex:
a) He is a premature ejaculator
b) You're getting fat
c) He is fu@king your best friend
d) Saving himself for a solid Internet porn tug
e) You nag too much, SHUT THE FU@K UP
The correct answer: all of the above, and so fu@king what if I didn’t give you that option.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you’re a one night that that got the TMM Treatment:
a) You're a ONE NIGHT STAND, seriously...who cares! I'll letcha in on a secret, NOT HIM!
b) You're a booty call
c) He is never going to see you again
d) He's a premature ejaculator
e) Because you looked better with your clothes on
The correct answer: again, all of the above...deal with it.
CONCLUSION: Here is the sad but honest truth, if you have sex with any man that lasts more than 2 minutes all the time...I don’t want to be that man. Its nice to have a two minute release where you’re not counting the clock and you can just bust your man goo, and smile about it.
If a man fu@ks for more than 2 minutes, he got lucky... Unfortunately there are men out there that have set the standard TOO HIGH for the rest of us. Apparently, some men are having sex as long as up to 5 FU@KING MINUTES...way to ruin it for the rest of us guys. @SSSHOLES!
All joking aside, here are some tips to AVOID the short sex scenario. DONT TALK. Truly, SHUT UP...just take your clothes off - then get on - the desired penis. Too much foreplay, too much anticipation is just going to get him TOO EXCITED, and what happens when men get too excited ladies...that’s right, they make paper mache paste. Another one would be give and take, for instance:
1o minute sex and beyond = you swallowing and not complaining about it, or saying you’re going to gag or throw up. Again, SHUT UP and just DO IT. Same goes for being on top ladies, SUCK IT UP... we don’t want to hear about how shy you are. You think its cute, men think its gay. We don’t want to hear about your leg or jaw cramping, don’t want to hear about your bad knees...at this point, where you’re both naked, there is one thing a man is thinking about. That thought:
PENETRATION. Now get to work... CLASS DISMISSED!
Big Mouth.
posted by Big mouth | 8:48 AM
4 Comments:
You're a fucking pig. ENOUGH SAID!
How about the next time a man and a women are doing forplay we cum in your mouth and you shut up and swallow it.If it was made to be swallowed it would have a good flavor so all you men who think you are worth that,go fuck yourselves and start sucking ours down your throat.There is such a thing as respect and buddy if you think that you have it,think again.Woman are not all plastic,we come with feelings and if you have a woman that complains that much before ,during,and after sex,she is not the problem.You need to re-examin the relationship.The way you sound on here,we all know where the problem lies.SO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP YOUR BITCHIN.Let it be know ladies ,we all have an oppion ,and assholes like this who can't carry on a relationship and blame it on women,should be told the differance.YOUR A FUCKIN IDIOT AND IT IS NOT HER FAULT YOU ARE A TWO MIN MAN,YOU HAVE ISSUES NOT HER. HAVE A NICE DAY LOSER!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I can't believe what I just read. It seems that you have some type of problem with your manhood, and are taking out your aggression on women. Like the last person said, the problem does not lie with the women.
If you state that the reason you finished in two minutes is because the women are not attractive enough for you, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BONING HER? It's a well known fact that if a women is not attractive to you, you simply won't splurge your man juice PERIOD.
If you're finishing within two minutes, it's either because of premature ejaculation (which thank you for telling us before we choose to come near you), you're inexperienced and have no control, or the woman's HOT and you can't contain yourself.
There are exercises you can try to help control your urge to splurge. If those simply don't work for you, take a pill, they can be more helpful than you'd think. Google is a very helpful tool also.
Those men that can actually last five minutes or longer are the ones that are now boning the women you left a bad impression on. WE NEED SATISFACTION ALSO! Not only the men.
So SHUT THE FU@K UP and STOP trying to OVERCOMPENSATE for your SMALL PENIS by bashing women when it's obvious you're the one with the 2 minute problem.
OR BETTER YET, SPARE US ALL AND GO GAY! No wait, gay guys need lovin too...
Hide in your house and never come out!
Sounds like these Anonymous individuals are probably females.
Truth hurts don't it.
Grow up, its a blog. Obviously you guys got fucked and chucked or it wouldn't even be that big of a deal for you to pour your heart and soul out on the internet LOL.
Funny blog.
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