I am a stud. oh yeah, and it sucks to be a praying mantis!

This is true. Im a stud. Most would say a stallion, but im going to be modest and play it down today for the BIG MOUTH FAITHFUL. Let me tell you why exactly that im such an impressive studly specimen. I put down floor today and painted a room... oh yeah. Did it in record time too, im sending off the stats to Guiness where i will be immortalized FOREVER as being an immaculate STUD.

I did the flooring with my man biatch, his name is Mark...but with a "C" instead of a "K" I refuse to spell it with a "C" cause i think its FRUITY! Thats right, i said it, FRUITY - a FRUITY BOOTY name! I say this mainly because i think he will read this BLOG one day shortly after masturbating to midget porn :D In fact, im going to tell him that i made a blog and made fun of him...just to see him cry his FRUITY lil eyes out bwhahahahahahaha. He is the one who taught me how to lay down floor, 5 hours ago i was the grasshopper and he was the master...but now i have surpassed my master. I am now SUPERIOR, very much like the female praying mantis after mating, I will devour the males BODY... leaving nothing behind other then his lil prick thats stuck inside of me LoL. OK, maybe thats not the best analogy... but ill keep it in there for amusements sake.

What a shiaty Life to be a male praying mantis. Youre born, YaY... kick ass man, im alive... you grow up - live and learn, soon youre a lil bit older - start getting to know girls, discover masturbation - life is good, youre going through the motions. Then you see your first porno, human porno of course, cause praying mantis' dont have BOOBIES - boring! I never understood why anyone would produce a 2 hour poundfest - TWO FU@KING HOURS... DaYuM - I could slam off to that for at least 10 years and never once rewind.

Anyways, back to the point, if there is one...im not sure yet.

Heres the scenario - a maturing mantis is starting to fantasize about sexual activity - hes becoming bored of masturbation and whats to try the REAL DEAL. starts dating this nice chick, she reads poetry, plays the piano...she can cook and basically does everything right, she even likes to watch FOOTBALL! one thing leads to another and next thing you know, youre both naked... kissing, heavy petting...the whole 9. she screams out your name - BIG MOUTH - make sweet love to me. I get all excitied... I take control, push her on the bed and I give it to her ALL FU@KING NIGHT LONG! shes LOVING IT, im a STUD...even as a praying mantis. She climaxes "like they all do" and I release my seed with an emphatic UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! I push her off my bed. she goes to get a cigarette and i fall asleep... next thing i know i wake up to this crazy mantis BITCH eating my fu@king head OFF!

Moral of story: NoNE.

What a fu@ked up way of life. That means that no praying mantis has a father, every mother ATE them. wouldnt that make for a lot of resentment within the family circle? I guess thats why women keep eating the dudes. Bummer to have a di@k if youre a praying mantis. Either youre ugly and nobody wants to fu@k you and you life a long life. You have no game and you couldnt score if your life depended on it - and life a full life... or maybe youre just shy cause you have a lil weeeeee praying mantis prick, regardless...you life out your life. It even sucks if youre a real attractive mantis with a HUGE John Holmes wang... all that good fortune for nothing, the only thing it would be good for is braggin rights! "Hey check out my HUGE mantis co@k!!!"

One things for sure, all this brainstorming has lead to one BREAKTHROUGH revelation:


There must be a HUGE gay mantis population. Live long - fu@k - Be merry :D

David.