Last night I got Hammered!
Holy Fu@k did I ever get smashed! I went to a concert and had a few drinks, the performance sucked so off to another bar - another bar where I drank my fu@king brains out. Its not about what i HAD to drink opposed to what i DID NOT have to drink. Lets break down the damage:
Beer - orange juice and vodka - tequila - sambuca - baileys - Jagerbombs and of course the always dangerous "mystery drinks" that were thrown my way on occasion.
so lets do the math here:
(6 known alcoholic beverages + 3 unknown alcoholic beverages + very little sleep and no substantial food other then a chicken burger) + (the spins) - (everything inside my stomach) =
A SORE FU@KING BRAIN AND FARTS THAT SMELL LIKE A HOMELESS MIDGET CRAWLED UP MY @SS LAST NIGHT, COOKED FISH AND LEFT THE PLATES OUT OVERNIGHT!
Basically, my own farts make me gag. I have a hard time believing that such a foul stench could come out of an ass as beautiful as mine LoL...but it did and continues to do so. Im having a hard time just finishing this blog without shi@tting myself. I definately have a date with a messy "do do" later on. You know, one of those "fu@k wiping"... then jump into the shower kinda craps!
Possibly something like THIS - take your pick LoL.
Well, I think i have done enough damage in a very short period of time! Have yourself a wonderful weekend and avoid me like the plague, im a ticking time bomb here... i suggest keeping a distance of 2 miles from my @ss for at least a week.
BIG MOUTH has spoken.
Beer - orange juice and vodka - tequila - sambuca - baileys - Jagerbombs and of course the always dangerous "mystery drinks" that were thrown my way on occasion.
so lets do the math here:
(6 known alcoholic beverages + 3 unknown alcoholic beverages + very little sleep and no substantial food other then a chicken burger) + (the spins) - (everything inside my stomach) =
A SORE FU@KING BRAIN AND FARTS THAT SMELL LIKE A HOMELESS MIDGET CRAWLED UP MY @SS LAST NIGHT, COOKED FISH AND LEFT THE PLATES OUT OVERNIGHT!
Basically, my own farts make me gag. I have a hard time believing that such a foul stench could come out of an ass as beautiful as mine LoL...but it did and continues to do so. Im having a hard time just finishing this blog without shi@tting myself. I definately have a date with a messy "do do" later on. You know, one of those "fu@k wiping"... then jump into the shower kinda craps!
Possibly something like THIS - take your pick LoL.
Well, I think i have done enough damage in a very short period of time! Have yourself a wonderful weekend and avoid me like the plague, im a ticking time bomb here... i suggest keeping a distance of 2 miles from my @ss for at least a week.
BIG MOUTH has spoken.
posted by Big mouth | 5:00 PM
2 Comments:
So was it worth it.. did you have any fun getting smashed? More details about what you did while hammered, less details about your shits and farts.
Any puking?
Nice to have to read that , dont you think it might have been a good, a great idea to let me know since you fuc@ing crashed in my bed? Oh, and for all you faithfulls, yes, there was some puking, and headaches and .... well i'll let him tell you all about it.
Post a Comment
<< Home