YaY -Canada- YaY

Canada is once again upon us. What a bullshiat holiday huh…. Here’s the truth about Canada day, I would be willing to bet my left nut, in fact… I would be willing to bet both my berries that 75% of the people getting hammered tomorrow don’t even know how old Canada is going to be.

But the fact remains, its still one hell of a fu@king party! The density of people out and about blanketing the pavement, an endless sea of red and white, passers by and of course, vendors and face painters.

I much prefer the Day to Night on July 1st because it’s a much more friendly atmosphere and I enjoy walking around with my mother downtown, enjoying the sites and sounds that our city has to offer. I have worked the last 5 Canada Days, this will be the first time in 6 years that I will be able to enjoy Canada with my mother like I used to when I was a child and I’m really looking forward to it.

As far as going out and getting hammered, probably not going to happen…what I plan on doing is calling people and meeting up with them throughout the day. Giving me a chance to catch up with old friends and new for the BIGGEST party of the year.

By the way, Canada turns 139.

David

NO "E" FOR ME!

My car hasnt passed an emissions test since the GOVERNMENT decided to rip everyone off with its induction a few years back. But good news for BIG MOUTH, there are no "E" TESTS where i live, which means... I dont have to worry about fixing my car :D Fuck emissions, furthermore, fuck the environment in which i will be destroying bwhahahahahaha!

OK SO IM A FU@KING HYPOCRITE!!! greenhouse, schmeenhouse...BLAH!

Regardless, its going to save me loads of money because when you fail an E test, you can get a pardon for 2 years after putting at least $4oo towards the repair of your vehicles emissions. Heres the dealio, after you pay that pardon you dont get anymore chances. From that point forward you are responsible for having your car pass the test in order to renew your stickers.

NO PASS = NO DRIVE = NO PROBLEM for BIG MOUTH.

- David -

Time to pay the PIPER!

<------This is what im NOT made of... Im finally going to be getting my car fixed, at a price of course...15 FU@KING HUNDRED $'s. When I heard the number it felt like my nuts got kicked out my @ss, then swallowed them! What did I do in life to bring myself this much distress, oh wait, I REMEMBER...I ran my car up a minivans @sshole LoL.

What really sucks is that I have been wanting to buy a HDTV to accomadate my XBOX360 which was designed to be played on Hi Def...but I could never bring myself to spend the 1o to 15oo bucks that it would cost to make it a reality. Now here I am spending that kind of money regardless.


BIG MOUTH

WORLD CUP SOCCER

This is about the only time i watch "Football"... not that i watch a whole lot of it, but it stimulates my brain more then usual due to the fact that its the gathering of the world for a common purpose:

To bore the fu@king masses of North America LoL. They should call the world cup the WORLD OSCARS for all the acting involved during gameplay. Dudes hitting the ground like they have been fatally wounded by a harpoon to the skull, its kinda pathetic.

Another thing, is it just me but for the caliber of player that the world has to offer, dont they miss that MASSIVE NET way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much?! The net is larger then most of the mud huts in which many of these countries derive.

Yeah, I just said that...


To top it all off, the WORLD CUP trophy isnt even a fu@king cup... whats the fu@king deal with that shiat. Don Cherry might be on to something when it comes to Europeans...

Best thing about "Football" are the Hooligans - now thats the kinda crowd i could roll with... I betcha they really dont even give a rats @ss about soccer, they just enjoy the carnage that follows no matter who loses LoL.

BIG MOUTH.

Hi speed = slow process

Where im living now, hi speed is patchy...in some areas its a solid ten years behind in technology! Its hard enough finding a place to live, but then having to find a place you want to live, then on top of that finding a place that has those 2 things AND hi speed internet.

There was one lady with an immaculate set up. Couch, love seat, fireplace and an air conditioned basement apt with a bedroom right next to it as well, only 4oo a month.... yet you check out some of these other living arangement where its shared accomadation, one main area with 5 to 6 bedrooms branching off, and they are charging a lil more and its a total fucking sty! Anyways, i couldnt live there because she didnt have hi speed and i need it to play my XBOX 360 baby...nothing will stand between me and my box LoL.

Regardless, it looks like i'll be getting BELL DSL since nobody here really offers cable internet, hard to believe only 1:30 up the road from a MAJOR Canadian City.

David.

Summertime!

Okies, yesterday was the first OFFICIAL day of summer... now i said i would NEVER say this, but im going to anyways. HOLY FU@K ITS HOT LoL, There... i fu@king said it, ITS TOO FUCKING HOT, im not even going to sensor that F BOMB. BOOOOOM! It just exploded onto your computer screen and there aint SHIT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Now of course, im only going to complain about the heat on this blog, I would never embarrass myself by doing such a thing in public. Mainly for the reason that I loathe individuals that do. During the winter, people say its too cold - in the spring its not warm enough for this time of year - in the summer its "too hot" Basically, society is never happy with the fu@king weather.

Well here is my 2 cents worth, LAY OFF THE FU@KING GREEN HOUSE EFFECT! TAKE THE BUS HERE AND THERE, TURN OFF YOUR AIR CONDITIONING DURING THE DAY AND KEEP IT ON DURING THE NIGHT, TRY NOT TO SHOWER FOR HOURS ( just wash the junk fellas, ladies...you just keep that noooonie clean...PLEASE) KEEP THE LIGHTS OFF IF YOU LEAVE THE ROOM and FINALLY,

Buy a shitload of corks and everytime you drive by a famers field, toss one of them in the COWS ASSES to prevent ozone depletion!

Just a thought. random of course.

Bigmouth.

"Take your time"

This seems to be the motto of the joint im living in, ESPECIALLY when it comes to DRIVING.
Oh my fu@king lord! The speed limit is 50 in most spots, but most dont wanna burn rubber in this town, they would much rather settle for a speedy 30. Makes me wanna get out of my car, which i could literally do...run next to the car while in motion, beaking at the putz for driving so GOD D@MN SLOW!

Its ridiculous around here, makes me wanna slit my wrists everytime i get into my vehicle.
I often fantasize of being in a tank and running over all the traffic in front of me. I can see bugs flying past me on a regular basis, U never have any splattered bugs on your windshild...in fact, when insects need a rest, they will hop a ride on a car.

EVERYTHING is one lane too, so passing isnt an option... I should sell my car and buy a fu@king skateboard or something. I used to think tractors were slow when I lived in the BIG CITY, if everyone in this town drove a tractor, it would be a fu@king god sent!

BIG MOUTH

My dog got sick

My lil doggy woggy got sick over the last week or so. Hacking and coughing through the night and shortness of breath. So i decided to put her out of her misery and snapped her neck with my bare hands! I then took an old hockey stick that i had layin around in the garage and rammed it down her throat and out her bum and roasted her over a bonfire!

HEY, dont worry....

i ate the meat.

chill out.

Must be the water!

I cant remember the last time that i was this relaxed, there have been a few time where I have almost lost bowel control. In fact, im so relaxed that even if i DID shit myself, i dont think i would even care that much LoL. Maybe I'll give it a try, ill let ya know how it goes... I imagine it would be messy.

Must be the water, but im constantly getting a sore stomach, something about there being more or less whatever in the water...i really have no idea. what i do know, is that i have switched to bottled water.

I have yet to get my car fixed since my accident lol although it is running :D Its frusterating, kinda like trying to pleasure myself orally...

Pilates will eventually get me there.

BIG MOUTH

Changes.

Im about one week into my new life now and im starting to miss my friends, family and especially my mother...I truly love her to death. If that makes me a Mama's boy, fuck it... Im a Mama's boy then LoL.

Im loving the work, the people are great...but im still a new person in a foreign town. Not like home where if i have nothing to do I can just call someone up and go for a java or talk about whats on my mind. I think what it boils down to is missng the convenience of how things "used to be." For the same reason why someone may go to a gym or restaurant that they really arent that fond of because its within close proximmity to their house or cheaper prices/rates.

Change forces a person to appreciate what they once had and what they have now obtained. Change puts everything into perspective, gives you an opportunity to step away from your former existance and take a retrospecitive look into what was working, what was not and how you can make things better in similar scenarios in the future.

Possibly why women are known to change their hairstyle after a bad breakup, its just something new. Buying some new clothes, giving yourself a fresh start and feeling good about yourself. For guys, I dont know how they express change really. I know its going to be a tough go for me in the long run, but one has to have to courage to embrace new frontiers.

"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”

Kinda deep, let me break that down for you in small town term:

( QUOTE ) GIVE'R ( UNQUOTE )

David.

Yeeeeeeee Hawwwwww...

I have heard more country music in the past week then i have heard in a LIFETIME. To be quite honest with you, its not ALL that bad. Dont get me wrong, im not running out to buy shiatkickers and a cowboy hat...but I'm starting to understand it all.

Country music is story telling, makes sense... its not so much about the music, because truth is, it all sounds the same to me. Im not being sarcastic either, its the truth... funny thing is, i betcha a million dollar that people who listen to country, if asked about hip hop and rap, would say in a heartbeat...

"it all sounds the same to me, boom boom boom and a bitch thrown in here and there."

Country is all about having that same twang, all the instruments are the same and they sing about similar scenarios. Hip Hop does not have the same twang, but they do have the same instruments even if they are electronic and a lot of the scenarios are the same too.

When it boils down to it, most music all sounds the same...which is why it has its own genre to begin with. I dont give a fu@k what kinda music you listen to as long as you dont punish me with it when im trapped in your car!

David.

Life in a small town...

Holy shiat, the pros and cons of a small town... I just got 2 fu@king shrimp rings for 5 bucks, beat that BIG CITY! LoL. Thats one of the pros of course, here is one of the cons - people get knocked the fu@k out quick around here! There are a lot of army dudes here with insecurity issues, they have their lil crushes on their chosen gal and if anyone gets within 3 feet of that girl...you are sentenced to an immediate thrashing to the face with whoevers fist wants to join in on the fun!

Food in restaurants are generally cheaper, beer at most establishments are more expensive...
I guess people around here are much more willing to pay for beer and dont care much for food.

SHRIMP RINGS ROCK! ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, im drawing blanks LoL. Hey, the chicks here arent that bad! Apparently girls dont come up and talk to you in these parts, you (The dude) have to make the approach or youre never going to meet anybody. Guess its kinda the same thing in the BIG CITY other than the fact that even if you make the first move and try and talk with them...all they think you want to do is screw them, which is true...but COMMON!

BIG MOUTH in a SMALL TOWN.

Uh oH!

Back to Blogging...

Man o Man i have been wanting to blog for a while now but havent had the chance. I was in the middle of a move and starting a new job, but im loving it. Came back home to pack up a couple more things over the weekend, but keeping enough behind that I can go back and forth without having to pick my brain.

I always said i wanted out of my hometown, now that i am... i know why. Deep down inside i knew the change would revitalize me. Its been wonderful so far, on the drive up last night I had the music on in my car and the sunroom down, its about 2am and im thinking... man, this all makes sense now. I was at peace with my current situation, even with all the chaos going on right now, im still more at ease in this chaos then I was when i figured things were settled.

Change was definately the BEST thing for me.

"P" squared

I like to eat these items, pizza and poutine! These are basically edible orgasms, better then masturbating with Miracle whip! Which really didnt end up being all that exciting, if anything...it just ended up being really fu@king MESSY!

Poutine and Pizza are Yummy, they are Yummy for my Tummy... when I drink I tend to have Rummy. When I pooh it comes from my Bummy.

Class is dismissed.

BIG MOUTH.

LoL.

another weekend, more rain....

Holy shi@t, whassup with all this FREAKING rain! In all truth, im not THAT pissed about it LoL...i wouldnt have done anything anyways :) I have been taking it real easy lately and just being a PIG and eating anything i want, drinking what i want and generally just having a good time with my current situation.

There have been a couple of nights that past few weeks where the weather was phenominal. One night it was humid, but the kinda humid you feel when you arrive in a tropical destination at night, right off the plane...awesome! Its almost like the atmosphere is giving you a big warm hug. Mother Nature stopping by just to say, I LOVE YOU BIG MOUTH :D

The second night that I can recall, it was cool... not cold, just cool enough that you had to wear a jacket, a light jacket. But after that, it was just amazing. The kinda night that if you were inside, and just got a sniff of the air, it would captivate you. Every breath revitalizing whatever you may have lost during the day, I could have walked forever.

Both times this occured it was slightly after 1am. It was quiet, calm and really gave me some time to reflect. My life is going through some major changes right now and for the first time in a LONG time. I feel pretty damn good about where i am :)

YaY me.