Time for another classic comedy clip....

This is some funny stuff, very raw...which is why it will probably make you laugh so hard LoL.



Your welcome,

Big Mouth.

I aint got nothing today...

I’m drawing a complete blank today, I was thinking about talking about my father today...but its so emotionally draining for me. Fu@k it, ill give it a try and if im not feeling it...ill stop and nobody will know the difference.

My parents were married for 26 years, my father...had an affair, supposedly. Regardless he ended up leaving the marriage, my sister...and of course, me. I remember the night I found out he was going to be leaving: my mother was sleeping on the couch, at the time I was 18 and coming in from one of the later nights I had ever experienced, it was 3am. Usually I get home earlier, way earlier... my mother was on the couch, I cant even really remember WHY I went in that room...but I did. She was awake. Even though it was dark in the room, I can see her face, vividly....her eyes, the pain.

"You're father is going to be leaving us" ... that’s all she said.

Ever see a movie where someone is told something, and they don’t believe it...like when someone dies. "NO, I don’t believe you....are you sure" that kinda deal. where it doesn’t really sink in until you SEE IT for yourself ( I was having one of these moments ) I asked her again and she repeated herself. I immediately followed her reply with "where’s dad", she points upstairs and says that he is in my sister’s room. I BOLTED UP THERE LIKE LIGHTNING. Here is the denial... I ask him whats going on, I was just told seconds ago...its not like my mother was going to lie to me about this sorta thing, which I initially embraced as a possibility as a cruel joke for me coming into the house so late. But this was no joke, no laughter...no smiles. This was disbelief, tears...then incredible anger.

Disbelief - the asking of whats going (to this day not recalling a single word he said) - the confused look on my face...the why's, etc... this was the most brief of the 3 stages.

Tears - I don’t know what I heard from my fathers mouth, but I remember the look on his face...almost ashamed, sleeping in my sisters bed, almost as if to have the covers pulled up over his mouth and nose...scared that the boogie man might come out of the closet...or maybe he knew that monster was soon to come out of me. I think he was prepared, he had studied human psychology, he knew me...and im guessing at that point, he knew the disbelief was simply the calm before the storm. I don’t know when I started to cry, but it was the most powerful, heart felt cry I had ever experienced to that point in my life...it was overwhelming, that in itself is an understatement.

Incredible anger is pretty straightforward LoL - I was fu@king pissed! I pounced right on top of him, I don’t even know how I got from the archway of the door to the bed at the far end of the room...I could have flown for all I know. I grabbed the top on his chest, double fisted and started thrusting him up and down on the mattress. The typical "WHY!" over and over... I thought of him spanking me as a child, the lessons he taught me and thinking how hypocritical it was for this man, my father, to ever lay a hand on me, my sister....while his hands roamed outside his marriage. The pain. I can feel it to this day, the anxiety... its amazing I didn’t kill the man.

I remembering looking straight into my fathers eyes, he was scared...petrified. I think what scared him the most is NEVER seeing me like that and not knowing what I was capable of... he was treated poorly by his father, his dad was an abusive man....and I think he regressed with my violent show of aggression. 1o years later, that look makes me sad...makes me love my father more. I saw right through him. I was looking at an 8 year old child, he was alone...he was scared and there was nothing he could do to get away, he was trapped.

I then looked back and my mother with tears in my eyes, crying so hard I could barely speak... saying over and over "How can you do this to mom...." things to that effect. She was crying, I don’t think I ever saw her cry to that point....18 years of life, not a single tear. I don’t think she thought I cared that much...that I loved her so dearly. Im an adopted child, at 4 months... I was chosen by her and my father and I was blessed with two loving parents and all the opportunity life has to offer.

She called my aunt who she knew I was close with to try to calm me down...it worked, I talked on the phone and the rest is a blank. a complete blank. Shi@t you not, this is the first time I have realized that I’ve blanked out the rest of that night. Wow... I'm going to call my mom and ask her. damn.

Nonetheless, I didn’t speak to my father for at least a year, year and a half after that night... it was my mother that pushed me for a relationship with my dad. Im an adopted child, at 4 months... I was chosen by her and my father and I was blessed with two loving parents and all the opportunity life has to offer...it was worth salvaging. All the hockey games watched, baseball games, playing catch, life lessons, etc...I remember him coming to one of my high school basketball games. Therefore, I tried.

It was a long and trying road, took years....I had to release a lot of anger. I love my father, he is a good man...he made some poor decisions, not by leaving my mother...but in the fashion he decided to leave. Today we laugh, he tells me he loves me, I tell him the same...we catch ball games, played softball on the same team together before I moved away and we have a solid father son bond.

...and don’t worry, my mother recovered, she’s a beautiful, resilient woman.... god bless her heart and her strength.

I love you mom. You too dad. and congratulations to anyone that made it half way through this blog. Turned out to be kinda therapeutic I guess.... more of a blog for me! haven’t done that in a while. Well, there’s a lil bit more info behind me, Big Mouth.

David.

another mid-week Wednesday...

This week has gone by quickly, kinda.... its hard to believe its Wednesday already, but every day has gone by extemely slow. I get to work and when i do, i rather be home sleeping. Im waking up in the morning in a panic thinking i missed my alarm, when it isnt set to ring for another 2-3 hours.

Life has been good though. my apartment is pretty much completed, i just need some artwork for the final touches. My job is going well, I have a gig on the side that pays me some decent coin as well...the only thing is missing my mother. I dont care how anyone sees it, mamas boy, being a pussy, etc... but i fully grasp the importance of family, i have one mother and i do my best to never take her for granted. I wish i could have her here with me :D but the one thing it indicates to me is that im not making it home enough...i really should make it home more, even if its just for the day. Take her out to lunch or rent a movie...something basic, but something nonetheless.

I dont talk about my pops too much on this blog, but him and I have a strong relationship as well. He is good to me, he has a loving heart and a brilliant mind...but being further away has strengthened our relationship. There was a point in my life where i didnt talk to him for over a year, but thats another blog :D

Its another mid week wednesday "hump day" maybe i will hump something...

David.

Getting married at a young age, no wedding present from me!

What is the deal with young marriages, I just dont fu@king get it....

A couple that has been dating since they were 16 years old, now they are 21...wow, FIVE years...congratulations! Many arent done school, dont have good jobs, more or less miles away from a stable career and a good financial situation. Why not just sit back, relax...enjoy your relationship and when the time is right, get married...go nuts, whats the rush.

Another common mistake, marrying someone without ever LIVING with them... If this doesnt scare you, chances are you have never had a roommmate. Ever hear of best friends that arent good friends anymore, chances are...they made the mistake of moving in with one another.

Everybody needs time to grow alone. To be a kid. Meet guys and girls....have a good time, not have to report to someone, explain yourself and all that kinda jazz. basically to be young and dumb. when youre with someone for 5 years plus with someone since the age of 17, you havent even had the chance to experience YOU, more or less a lot of the other things that life has to offer. which is why 10 years down the road, many are in bad marriages and soon divorced...wanting to hit up the clubs, be social and do all the things they should have been doing when they were twenty, but couldnt...because they were living the latter part of their lives when they should have been living out their youth.

CASE AND POINT: a lot of these relationships are heading towards marriage without due process, not to say that everyone has to follow the same steps; but just like everything else in life...there is common ground, the basics...many which are just getting tossed aside for the sake of "something more" If you love someone and you plan on being with them the rest of your life (average lifetime being roughly 75 years) you have a solid 5o years of life together...so why rush it after 3-5. There is no need to get married before you have an established career, no need if youre not financially stable and no need to push deadlines forward for the sake of.

If i have a daughter, and she wants to marry some high school sweetheart or someone long term from a young age...she will get my blessing. she WONT get my checkbook.... Ill pay for the second wedding LoL. Chances are if you cant afford your own wedding, that would be another red flag...and you probably shouldnt be getting married :D

Big Mouth.

BELL BELL BELL!

This is the image that i have grown to loathe. From cell phones to sympatico, home lines and everything in between. If you're looking to ruin your day, give one of these customer service representatives a call...its a guarenteed patience fu@k.

Usually i have awful experiences with these turds but for the mostpart, after i shit my pants in anger...i get some lousy form of compensation that usually doesnt credit me for my full worths loss, but it just feels good knowing that i didnt let the system completely fu@k me over...just let them diddle around the outside a lil.

Well im happy to say for the first time in a LONG time, a bell customer service representative made me feel like a million bucks. Simply by listening, empathizing and immediately trying to resolve my issue as quickly as possible. what had been happening, is that i changed to a long distance plan that gave me $5 unlimited weekends....AWESOME! What they didnt tell me is that after i changed to that plan, my regular weekday 1o cent LD minutes would now default to 3o cents a minute! now because i still have my same ottawa number, and im not living there anymore...EVERY SINGLE call i get is a LD call, so every time i picked up the phone i knew i was paying 1o cents....so i thought ( i was really paying 3o cents) so for those 1o minute calls that i thought were costing me a buck, were costing me 3! You can imagine how much cash that added up to in a year since Ive been on that plan.

Needless to say i lost hundreds of dollars over the past year, I told him that when i was given the 5 dollar package, I was not made aware of the default charge... I wanted compensation and he didnt question the fact that it was exactly what the situation called for! The previous 3 bills averaged out to about $2o dollars a month, so i deducted two thrids of that amount, equal to the amount that i was being unknowingly charged and decided that would be fair compensation, roughly 14 bucks a month. Therefore he solved that problem by giving me unlimited browser and text messaging, a $17 dollar value free each month... roughly 12o dollars worth of features, which works out to about $1o a month for the previous year i got fu@ked over. The rest of the money lost I sucked up due to the fact that i did use a lot of weekend minutes and it did give me the opportunity to talk on the phone lots on my days off.

Overall a pleasant interaction with Neel, the man who served me today... and what i suggest, very much like im going to do after i finish writing this blog: Im going to call in to BELL and recite the employee number that i asked him for and make sure that he is recognized for his fantastic service.

David.

O.K THIS IS STUPID!

This might be the most stupid thing i have ever posted on this blog. I must admit i got a quick chuckle outta this one...then quickly ran to grab a razor and cut myself. I often wonder why people waste their time with putting together stupid shi@t like this...probably because morons like me take the time to post them :D

Big Mouth.

......

Time moves slowly, soon to lose importance…as I wander away, distancing who I am from who I was.

The pictures in my room are slowly fading…soon to be forgotten. I drop memories behind me like a breadcrumb trail, unaware they are being swept up and swindled by my surroundings.

Forgetting, once a faux pas, is no longer my fault…

All that’s left…a few familiar faces and repeated rapture. I lay awake at night, afraid to close my eyes, knowing life will thieve me while I rest…replacing fond thoughts of a full life, with engulfing emptiness.

My strong strut, now a shuffled walk. My bright eyes simply blink and send out blank stares… my words, now incomprehensible sentences that speak solely to me.

Life now forces me into a landscape of isolation and loneliness.

Only a fraction of my former self, moving aimlessly through an abundant world,

Alone I wander into this desert, without a fight…with no struggle.

Sadly,

with no return…..

THE $*@%&*$ SWEAR JAR

Brought to you by, who else...me, Big Mouth....

Ya #$*$%@% idiot.

BOTTLE OR DRAFT... " BOTTLE PLEASE "

Well its been quite some time since i've blogged! Life has been pretty good to me for the mostpart, my apartment is completely furnished...my car hasnt emploded, surprisingly LoL. I still miss my mom, im still employed and have yet to get thrown in jail for illegal acts committed at the tender age of 1o!

For some reason i just havent felt like blogging, sharing my emotions and such...I guess i just needed some time to reset and evaluate my recent past. I have still been gathering great pics and videos for you thought, a shi@t load in fact and I cant wait to share it with ya :D

Now, enough talking LoL...lets get back to VINTAGE BIG MOUTH BLOGGING!
( as seen below...)























... It almost brings a tear to my eye :D

Big Mouth.