Happy Hallowhocares?

YaY, its Halloween...where lil beggars get dressed up in stupid and run around begging for a fu@king handout. Not once have I ever seen a kid do a trick for his or her treat....lazy fu@kers!

This year, if a kid says "treat or treat!" and neglects to follow up with a talent of some sort, my trick will be a disappearing act as the door slams shut in their face.

Halloween is all about parents these days anyways! Its just another ocassion for them to dress up their kids like morons; and to get a few chuckles and ooooooo's and aaaaaaaaa's at their childrens expense.

Here's a question, think about what your parents dressed YOU up as for Halloween when you were FIVE... Lemme guess, you can't remember! You wanna know why... CAUSE ITS FU@KING TRAMATIC FOR A CHILD TO GO THRU! They might not understand exactly whats going on, but their sub conscience is telling them they look like a fu@king putz and people are laughing at them because of it. Futhermore, people make their children go to a STRANGERS door and ask for a fu@king freebie! No wonder we have so many people wandering the streets asking for change.

In fact, next time you see a bum looking for a handout...before you sit back and think to yourself, "how could someone begging like that"... just think about it as trick or treating, at least with those fu@kers, you get a show...they EARN their money. Whether it be playing THE WALL by Pink Floyd on the spoons, breakdancing to their own beep box or simply washing your windsheild with dirty water...and least they are making an effort! Unlike the puke youth of today.

Big Mouth.

I'm a Fu@king idiot....

Here is my short story about how Big Mouth, with all his infinite knowledge and cerebral integrity, can sometimes act like an everyday peon...just like you.

I had been cleaning the house last week; throughout the passing days...I was accumulating waste around the house. Now because I love the environment, I don’t throw out my garbage unless its absolutely wretched, or full. This time around, I usually keep it around the front door when I'm ready to throw it out so I don’t procrastinate TOO much...it gives me that lil added incentive to take it out when I have to look at it every time I enter or exit my living space.

Well this past Friday, I decided to wash ALL my underwear and socks...ALL of them because I don’t like to do a wash until I have the majority of my shi@t to wash, again...cause I love mother earth unlike most of you fu@kers.

Oh yeah, by the way...I do my laundry in garbage bags because I’m too fu@king cheap, and lazy...to buy a hamper.

Anyways, I was looking around for my underwear and socks Saturday night and for the life of me, couldn’t find them... I searched all my closets and everything. Then it dawned on me. The garbage HADNT been thrown out. I accidentally took all my socks and undies and threw them in the FU@KING DUMPSTER! Just writing about this makes me feel like a total douche, until I remember, “Hey…I’m ME” then... its all good :D

The most incredible thing is that its a lil bit of a trek for me to get all my stuff to the dumpster and not for one second did I even have an inkling that I was throwing out my stuff LoL.

Big Mouth.

The INTIMATE relationship....

Between Halloween and Value Village! I never head into that shi@thole unless its to pick up some duds for October 31st, this year...im going to be a PIMP! <----- Kinda like that, but with ME wearing the suede ;)

Now why Big Mouth, do you hate Value Village... WHY?! Well i'll tell ya why, as we rummage through the crawl space of Big Mouth's Basement and pull out a vintage BLOG called, I HATE VALUE VILLAGE.

Enjoy,

Big Mouth.

Bill "The Bumper" Gates....

This clip pretty much speaks for itself but i figured i would just explain some of what youre going to see. This car is blue tooth at its best, it can search from a list of 1ooo contacts and pick out the one that you want. It can take from a song list of thousands and pick out the artist or song that you request in seconds. You will see the fact that you receive text messages on this system as well, what you maybe didnt see, was the fact that you could use abbreviations like "TTYL" and "BRB" or "STR8" and the car will recognize these and translate them accordingly. On top off all of that gimmicky stuff...these features are also multilingual!

This car is the future.

The marketing is brilliant, yes...they are going to get the attention of younger buyers and the gimmick lovers. At the same time, they have people so "FOCUSED" on the technology...their hoping that consumers completely forget that the FORD FOCUS is a piece of SHIT! No shots of the interior to peak the buyers interest, nothing on the cars specs...nadda! Just a whole bunch of "Hey, look at all the COOL FU@KING SHI@T this car can do" LoL.

Big Mouth.

Dara

* This blog is going to be all over the place, It's kinda scattered...but i wanted to leave it pure as it left my mind and to my fingertips.

Dara is someone that I have known since I was a kid, we went to school together, we lived one street down from one another and I was also the neighborhood paperboy who delivered papers to her house. We first went to grade school together, later to meet up in high school..., which she graduated at the age of 15. (this is the exceptional type of person we are talking about here)

Well this past weekend was Dara's 3oth birthday and I was privileged enough to have been invited as part of this exclusive gathering of people. Dara and I reunited a few years back when she was visiting from the states where she is a successful professor...We were both out and about one night after the clubs and bumped into one another, a pleasant surprise. I went on to ask her about her family and so on, in which I was so fond of...and she informed me that her father had fallen ill with cancer. Immediately we made plans for me to visit the household and meet with Keith.

When I was a kid and delivered papers to the house, the family was always very kind to me...often inviting me in for some food, a drink of lemonade...or to play the piano for them :) I was always more than happy to be in their company and have fond memories of both Dara and her family... More so, I remember Keith vividly and his strong structure and captivating smile...a deep powerful voice, yet one of the gentlest individuals a person could encounter. Nonetheless I was fortunate to see him a few times before his passing...it was a blessing for the family to let me be a part of this process and something that I will be forever grateful for.

This is what has made for such a strong bond between me and my friend Dara who is one of the most exquisite people anyone would have the pleasure of meeting. She is a strong woman, intelligent, beautiful both inside and out with a heart too big for her body...she is compassionate, caring, kind and inspiring... SHE, is my friend.

...and that puts a smile on my face every time I say it :) Her family I hold dear, her friendship is sacred to me...I must have done something right in life to have someone so phenomenal, want me to be a part of their close circle of family and friends... It truly makes me feel special; it gives me a feeling of warmth to know that I have someone like that in my life, because not everybody does.

David.

Lips of an angel

Let me run through this clip...

The first thing thats going to happen is that youre going to see this lil turd squirt walk onto the stage holding a microphone that is roughly half the size of her entire body. Secondly, youre going to sigh a lil inside and brace yourself for another half ass performance from a lil girl who thinks they can sing...if youre lucky, she might sing OK for a 6 year old! You will probably acknowledge the panel with SIMON, the devils step son...sticking out like a black baby in a diaper commercial. You imagine him tearing this kid a new @sshole just for shits and giggles, then her running of stage, crying...never to be heard from again.

In a few seconds, youre going to start watching this clip. Soon after, you will stop whatever it is you might be doing.....

You may now close your mouth.

This is a bone chilling performance, near surreal...the feeling that something larger than all of us was somehow intertwined with this little girls voice. The fact that a sound so wonderful, so beautiful and awe inspiring...isnt supposed to shine so brightly in a darkened room from a six year old child. As if an angel was singing through her, to us.

She sang a few other times during the show, including a hit from Michael Jackson tune (Ben) from years ago when he was a kid. Never did any of those performances come close to that initial meeting of Connie -vs- the World.

Thats the only problem with unique events such as the one witnessed...we always want more, until we dont remember why we wanted it so much in the first place. The fact that something so beautiful to us, can become so jaded, so quickly...

is so, so very sad.

David.

POPPIN'

This is a crazy clip that i came across a while back then lost the url so i could share it with the Big Mouth Basement Faithful :) Now if you think the Asian kid in the white shirt has skills, youre going to go nuts when you see the finale!

Big Mouth.