B-m-B overview...

Big Mouth's Basement Overview

Lets start off with with THIS POST (why it sucks to be a praying mantis.) Before i even started that page, i wasnt even thinking about the praying mantis til its first mention. Im not drug abuser, i dont write anything under the influence...if im guilty of anything, its that im a lil odd. Due mostly to the fact that im usually nude when blogging, taking a few minutes out of my writing time to jerk off a few cum nuggets.

Remember when was my first real attempt at opening up a lil bit, and it was well recieved. I think it was damn good for a first try:D My Salvation was a much deeper read, definately one of my favorites because these were things i was thinking about when i was taking a shower myself. This didnt take me long to write, the words flowed like water;) Matters of the Heart is a good read, i think a lot of people can identify with it due to its broad appeal...LOVE! This read will definately make you think, smile - then think a lil bit more. THIS POEM was something i wrote for someone, but wanted to share with fellow bloggers. Of course, the person who it was intended for got to read it on paper first LoL.

THE DONT's OF INTERNET DATING is by far the most popular thread that i have ever posted on this blog. If u want to check that one out, click the my salvation link and it will be a short scroll down the page :D The mass appeal of this thread is obviously due to the fact that almost EVERYONE has tried the internet dating scence and have observed the same stupid shi@t.

Last but not least, one of my more recent posts I HATE VALUE VILLAGE. There was a lil bit of fabrication in this post, but who doesnt do that to increase the interest of a story, so FU@K YOU LoL. I dont HATE value village, its just that if i was given the opportunity of torching it to the ground and watching it burn with all the patrons inside, i would probably give it a go!

So theres an introduction to BIG MOUTH'S BASEMENT if youre a first time reader and want to cut through the clutter and get to the goods. This gives you a pretty well rounded idea of what this blog is all about, hopefully it was enough to peak your interest. If youre part of the BIG MOUTH faithful, you already know what youre in for and i appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read my blog here and there. please keep coming back and interacting, i appreciate the comments and your tolerance for my FAT HEAD which serves as the foundation for my BIG MOUTH :D

David.

Bored at home, work, can't fall asleep etc...

Heres the dealio, this is a very simple blog today...im BoReD. When im bored, i sometimes surf the net which is almost as boring as being bored lol. There are a few sites i visit when im online to pass the time, but it would be nice if i had more. So what I'm going to do is post a link of a website that i visit when im EXTREMELY bored and need something to do instead of cutting myself with razor blades.

What i would like YOU after you read this, is post a website that YOU like to visit when the circumstances are reversed :D

Here's a funny clip just to give you an example of what you might experience at this site lol.

click HERE for the URL

2 weeks down and a lifetime to go!

Back on the bandwagon for BIG MOUTH, again…but this time I’m sticking to my guns! I’m talking about my endless battle of fighting off the bad foods that I LOVE. Roughly two years ago I was 220 pounds and what used to be a muscular body was becoming pathetically weak and frail. I went from being 23 and in the best shape of my life, just starting college and making the basketball team *TO* 27 years old and being in the worst shape of my life, way done college and had not dribbled a basketball in about 2 years! LoL.

I decided the laziness had to be ANNIALATED! I got my @ss into the gym, started eating right and believe me, it was a long difficult road. There were many failures on the way to success and the loss of roughly 30-35 pounds and stacking a fair bit of muscle on to my frame. YaY BIG MOUTH!

I’m now soon to be 29 years old and I think I have finally got everything under control. I eat well during the week and treat myself to whatever I want for at least one day of the weekend if not 2. If I treat myself twice, I am very strict with myself during the week. If I only treat myself once during the weekend, I will allow myself to have a beer, or a medium double double from Tim Horton’s…you get the picture:D

Just remember, it’s not about DIETS…it’s about LIFESTYLE changes. After all the breakdowns, taking time off from the gym and so on, I have kept myself at a healthy weight of 2oo, muscular, and have a pretty good body. I’m currently working on getting myself down to 19o where I hope I can stay for a VERY long time. I won’t fall off the wagon again, for every month you slack off at this age, it’s going to cost you 2 taking it off.

If you have any HEALTHY weight loss tips / strategies, feel free to leave a comment. Possibly a success story that you would like to share....? Let the BIG MOUTH faithful know about it!

I didn’t swear once in this entire blog entry, not bad huh...Fu@king A!

David.

Embrace Monday's

I really dont have much to report today, after all it is a Monday... Booooooooo! Without Monday's, the weekend wouldnt be as special now would it lol. Unless we juts got rid of Monday all together and just went straight til Tuesday, SWEEEEEET! Then we would all eventually HATE Tuesday's, get the picture? Thought so...

Its a no win situation really, we should just learn to appreciate Monday. Monday brings us MONDAY NIGHT RAW, can't hate on Monday for THAT now can you?! O Monday, the day that we can lovingly hate, taking all the flack for being the first day of the week and never complaining about it.

YaY Monday.

Monday, I renounce my STUDNESS and hand it down to you, just for today of course. Youre the fu@king stud tonight... I LOVE YOU and if you were a woman, I would make love to you ALL NIGHT LONG, til Tuesday in fact. God Bless you Monday, just for being you.

David.

XBOX CHAMP - RIGHT HERE!

BIG MOUTH IS THE "CHAMP" - I TALK SHI@T - THEN I BACK IT UP!



Today there was an xbox championship for the popular xbox36o title, NHL2K6. I decided to enter this tourney because in years past i used to win tournaments for hockey games back in the day. Im talking way back in the day... old school NHLPA, as seen above :D

Remember this thing?! Thats right, thats the sega genesis...the console that played the NHLPA series. This thing kicked ass with titles like Sonic the HedgeHog, Mortal Combat and fu@king GOLDEN AXE BABY LoL! BIG MOUTH would love to know what your favorite old school games are, make sure to leave a comment if theres a good one you can recall!

This tourney was a 2 vs 2 cross canada tournament, we went on to represent OTTAWA, ONT with our competitors being MONTREAL, EDMONTON, CALGARY, MONTREAL and TORONTO. These games were to be played online in the THEATRE in which these events were hosted. But guess what these fu@king idiots did, idiots being the people that put this event on...

THEY DIDNT HAVE A DEDICATED LINE IN THE THEATRE! so we were sharing the same SINGLE internet connection that was being used by the ENTIRE theatre! so nobody was able to connect online and the grand prize is now vacant until they can figure out a way to fairly give away the STANLEY CUP FINAL TICKETS!!! Can you believe that an ONLINE company didnt have the smarts to make sure that there was a DEDICATED line for a theatre with about 30 online portals.

dumb.

anyways, i ended up winning the entire 2006 EAsports Library and a custom xbox36o face plate and one full year of XBOX LiVE service, headset and some other thing-a-ma-jigs! Total value rougly around $4oo. Not bad for playing a video game :)

I Hate Value Village

Let me tell you why, cause im a dude! Not a lot of stuff at this joint for 28 year old men. Let me explain why this is. This store exists due to people generosity, which means that people donate their goods and value village sells them.

How is it that this store has great things for chicks, because girls have taste. A girl could relinquish 5o% of her closet and a solid 35% of the clothing would totally rock... females have a good eye for fashion , take a look at their closets. They have far too much clothing to even keep track of, its ridiculous. In fact, women in North America have enough clothing to fashion the ENTIRE FU@KING GLOBE! There is no reason, no excuse to see commercials on TV with starving children in rags! At the very least there should be starving children on TV with a nice pair of slacks and a well collared T-shirt.

Same goes for kids, children love their toys... the only time they dont want to play with an older toy is when a NEW toy comes out. That doesnt mean the old toy isnt good anymore, the old toy still ROCKS... but its not a NEW toy, so they eventually make their way to the village as well. There are always some cool playthings for the kids, its basically like children trading in their toys for other toys. A toy doesnt have to be in a air tight package for a kid to consider it to be a NEW TOY. Value Village is basically a crack house for kids.

Men are fu@king idiots when it comes to dressing themselves. This is why this place is useless when it comes to being a man who actually knows how to dress himself. If youre a LUMBERJACK, this place is Le Chateau for men for you. You live on the street and need some rags to wipe your @ss, value village is the place for you. The only other reason i could see a man walking into this place to buy some gear, he's blind.

This joint has one saving grace for the 28 year old man...pants, they have some decent JEANS.
The dress pants all have pleats in them, something Napoleon Dynamite would frown upon, they are a joke. I cant see who would wear these, i could knit better slacks myself. If i were to fashion these pants on anybody, it would most likey be a retarded person (mentally challenged) that drooled and soiled himself a lot, you know. Someone who isnt too concerned about his gear.

which made me think, how come DOCKERS pants doesnt TARGET the mentally challenged demographic, at least the ones that drool a lot. Yeah, im a Bastard... But theres an untouched market out there and ill be the one to crack it wide open. Im going to buy all the $2 dress slacks at value village, waterproof the pants and start making some cash.

Im going to hell and I can't wait....
-BIG MOUTH-

* ring ring * goes the lil Bell...

Today im rollerblading along a lovely path, its a beautiful day and of course blessed with some BEAUTIFUL company. The sun is out, theres a nice cool breeze and watching the passers go by and on top of all this...its right by the water!

There were also a lot of people out on their bicycles. Now i dont go rollerblading on this path all that often, but it became quite evident after just a few moments that this was a very HIGH traffic pathway. Theres a point coming soon....

Now after a few moments of blading I hear a RING! It was someone one their bicycle coming from behind on me and they just wanted to give me the heads up to make sure i didnt go wide and have them run my face into the ground, possibly bashing up my BIG MOUTH. I obviously hear this ring and make sure to keep to my side of the path. and THAT got me thinking LoL....

Not only is this a good tool for bicycles, but i could definately use one of these things in the mall. Possibly on the streets of downtown, even without a bicycle. In the mall especially when people are CONSTANTLY coming to COMPLETE HALTS in the middle of the people flow, like they are in the fu@king matrix or something and everything slows down for them. If i had a BELL, i could just RING it when im coming up on their @sshole and they could move aside. Or when im walking on a busy sidewalk and there are some old ladies doing their sunday WALKING, side by side...blocking up the entire throughway. I could ring my bell REAL loud until they heard it, then they could move aside. Of course, this bell would be accompanied by a loud speaker for optimal efficiancy... "Failure to move aside may lead to a kick in the box, or your nuts out your @ss."

Oh and since im on the topic of bells, cycling and ringing - the gas station pisses me off.
bad segue LoL.

Today i pull up to the gas station and all the pumps are taken but one. The HUGE problem is that its on the side that most dont have their gas tank on, so this makes for a fu@king mess of course. Because it would make too much sence to just pull your car around to the side in which your gas tank sits on instead of backing up traffic onto the fu@king street. This makes me want to drag individuals out of their car, cram the pump down their throats and pour in the petro. when they finish crying and begging for their lives, I will then dowse this individuals face with more gasoline and light a match. Yes, im an angry tortured soul.

Once - I ate a caterpillar.

End of Blog.

Garbage!

Im so tired of checking out flicks (movies) and having them suck ass, in Brokeback's case...
fuck ass!

The movie i saw today was ULTRAVIOLET, they should have called it ULTRASHIT. Thats all i could come up with, sorry LoL. The movie sucked all the creative juices out of my body. OMG this flick was pure "Garbage" I dont know what they were trying to achieve with this film, other than to laugh at the fact that people were going to pay to go see it. I was one of those suckers, i would have rather seen another movie and have them jizz in my popcorn. THATS how bad ULTRA SHIT is.

If i had to rate this movie out of 5 stars, i would give it (-5) solar systems. hopefully to be devouored by a black hole.

When i see a masacre of a movie like this, it gives me passionate rage...i want to harm myself in sick and disturbing fashions. I wanted to cut myself, but didnt want to get blood in my popcorn.
The only good thing about this movie is that it was cheap, $3 matinee...now thats what im talking about.

Nonetheless, it was a waste of 3 bucks that I could have put towards crack.

-BiG MouTH-

- Easter Bunny and Friends -

Easter is now done. Jesus has died and has risen once again, the celebration complete! Back to work for most which of course SUCKS, but then again for most, its another short work week.
Easter is good for a few things:

• not 1, but 2 short work weeks
• family ( for some thins may be a bad thing )
• awesome food
• for the ladies - CHOCOLATE
• telling kids that the easter bunny got caught in a bear trap on the way over and DIED

O.K maybe that last one was a lil overboard LoL. But it brought a smile to my face :D

When is it a bad thing for kids to believe in the Easter bunny, Santa and the Tooth fairy. Of course, no parent wants to be the one responsible for crushing the fantasies that THEY log jammed into their childrens brains!

I remember this one kid i knew, he was 1o and still believed in Santa... I dont know whats worse, having to tell the kid that theres no such thing as Santa, or having him get beat down and wedgied every holiday. BIG MOUTH says, save them the severe beatings and anal tortures! If the child asks you about one of these fictional characters, they are already having doubts...just let them down easy, better you tell them then someone else. Then tell them to keep it a secret so you dont disappoint others kids that still might believe in such childish things. That way you are being honest and at the same time, making them feel like they are growing up. Kind of a surprising and sensitive way for BIG MOUTH to handle things huh. I have a heart. In fact, I ripped it out of my own chest and keep it in a jar by the fireplace.

Hope you had a GREAT EASTER - enjoy the short work week, again - and EAT DIRT.

David.

HAPPY EASTER!

Easter, out of all the holiday's this is the one i understand the least. ok maybe i should restate that. Easter, out of all the holidays is the one i GRASP the least. This is what i know.

Jesus dies - bad
Jesus is resurrected - good

How chocolate and the EASTER bunny came about, i have no fu@king clue! There is one thing that BIG MOUTH here will not complain about when it comes to JESUS DYING... GREAT FU@KING GRUB! man, the food is incredible...

when i was a kid i used to go to church around this time of year, i have no idea why... my parnets always forced me into that kinda deal. I had to go to sunday school until i was in grade 7, then my parents gave me the authority to quit if i wanted to, so i did... like who the fu@k wouldnt. I wanted to eventually grow up and meet girls, very hard to do if youre still in sunday school in grade nine and shit. didnt really matter tho, turns out i was a pretty ugly lil bastard until i matured a few years down the road. of course, when i say matured i obviously mean physically... cause im now in my late 20's and im still a fu@king moron, but a moron with a BIG MOUTH.

My mother is very religious, so easter is a HUGE deal for her... i dont get it. I dont get excited about any holiday really. If it will get me a day off work, its one of my favorite holidays. If I have to work that holiday, it can lick my balls. of course when i say balls, what i really mean is:

my testicles.

David.

I am a stud. oh yeah, and it sucks to be a praying mantis!

This is true. Im a stud. Most would say a stallion, but im going to be modest and play it down today for the BIG MOUTH FAITHFUL. Let me tell you why exactly that im such an impressive studly specimen. I put down floor today and painted a room... oh yeah. Did it in record time too, im sending off the stats to Guiness where i will be immortalized FOREVER as being an immaculate STUD.

I did the flooring with my man biatch, his name is Mark...but with a "C" instead of a "K" I refuse to spell it with a "C" cause i think its FRUITY! Thats right, i said it, FRUITY - a FRUITY BOOTY name! I say this mainly because i think he will read this BLOG one day shortly after masturbating to midget porn :D In fact, im going to tell him that i made a blog and made fun of him...just to see him cry his FRUITY lil eyes out bwhahahahahahaha. He is the one who taught me how to lay down floor, 5 hours ago i was the grasshopper and he was the master...but now i have surpassed my master. I am now SUPERIOR, very much like the female praying mantis after mating, I will devour the males BODY... leaving nothing behind other then his lil prick thats stuck inside of me LoL. OK, maybe thats not the best analogy... but ill keep it in there for amusements sake.

What a shiaty Life to be a male praying mantis. Youre born, YaY... kick ass man, im alive... you grow up - live and learn, soon youre a lil bit older - start getting to know girls, discover masturbation - life is good, youre going through the motions. Then you see your first porno, human porno of course, cause praying mantis' dont have BOOBIES - boring! I never understood why anyone would produce a 2 hour poundfest - TWO FU@KING HOURS... DaYuM - I could slam off to that for at least 10 years and never once rewind.

Anyways, back to the point, if there is one...im not sure yet.

Heres the scenario - a maturing mantis is starting to fantasize about sexual activity - hes becoming bored of masturbation and whats to try the REAL DEAL. starts dating this nice chick, she reads poetry, plays the piano...she can cook and basically does everything right, she even likes to watch FOOTBALL! one thing leads to another and next thing you know, youre both naked... kissing, heavy petting...the whole 9. she screams out your name - BIG MOUTH - make sweet love to me. I get all excitied... I take control, push her on the bed and I give it to her ALL FU@KING NIGHT LONG! shes LOVING IT, im a STUD...even as a praying mantis. She climaxes "like they all do" and I release my seed with an emphatic UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! I push her off my bed. she goes to get a cigarette and i fall asleep... next thing i know i wake up to this crazy mantis BITCH eating my fu@king head OFF!

Moral of story: NoNE.

What a fu@ked up way of life. That means that no praying mantis has a father, every mother ATE them. wouldnt that make for a lot of resentment within the family circle? I guess thats why women keep eating the dudes. Bummer to have a di@k if youre a praying mantis. Either youre ugly and nobody wants to fu@k you and you life a long life. You have no game and you couldnt score if your life depended on it - and life a full life... or maybe youre just shy cause you have a lil weeeeee praying mantis prick, regardless...you life out your life. It even sucks if youre a real attractive mantis with a HUGE John Holmes wang... all that good fortune for nothing, the only thing it would be good for is braggin rights! "Hey check out my HUGE mantis co@k!!!"

One things for sure, all this brainstorming has lead to one BREAKTHROUGH revelation:


There must be a HUGE gay mantis population. Live long - fu@k - Be merry :D

David.

Random thoughts!

nothing to speak of really, just some random thoughts...really random lol. this entry wont make a lot of sense, but possibly spark some random thoughts of your own :D

I was in the park the other day, it was beautiful...lots of sun! In fact, it almost felt like summer if it werent for the cool breeze of "fuck you" from winter LoL, dude just doesnt want to let go. anyways, i was sitting on a rock and saw a buildup of leaves from the fall. the leaves were dry, void of mud and all the icky things of spring that you usually get before things really start to heat up. I picked up these leaves and crumpled them...then put my clasped hands to my nose. It reminded me of when i was a child and used to jump into the HUGE pile of the leaves that somebody else raked up hahahaha. that was the one incentive for my parents to slam on me when trying to teach me some responsibility...to rake the leaves, THEN i could jump in the pile :D This kinda takes me back to a previous blog where i talk about how "we" (you and i) are the same as we always have been, its circumsance and our surroundings that keep changing. we just get caught up so much trying to keep pace, we forget what its like to be kids! not only that, but the pleasures and joyfulness of being young, smelling the leaves, rolling around in the mud or getting grass stains on your knees and elbows :D

Then i turned my attention to an ant i saw running towards my foot and for some reason thought about how ants must have the BIGGEST fucking egos! Mastering the terrain, flexxing and shiat all the time going ON AND ON about how they can lift 8 times their own body weight! all the other insects rolling their eyes when they see the ants coming thru, lifing a massive leaf thats far too big for any practical ant use. Its just a fu@king show of power "LOOK AT ME, THE MIGHTY FU@KING ANT"

I remember being a child and eating a spider! I cant remember what it tasted like, sorry. I remember this kid in my grade 1 class that couldnt stop eating his eraser, that and red crayons. I think he was retarded. If i had to guess on where he was today in life, that guess would be jail. I would also guess that there is probably a NUN that has visitation rights that brings him a box of erasers every week...she tells him that they are bubblegum so he doesnt feel inadequte for a few minutes in a day, not like he gives a shiat either which way.

This is one messed up entry LoL, welcome to my world... eat dirt ya putz'

David.

My salvation?

I lathargically step into the shower, unaware of the genisis that awaits...my cleansing begins.

I slowly remove my clothes, my shirt first...taking a quick glance at my chest, saying to myself "you still got it stud", my bottoms / briefs and socks soon follow. emotionally void, stone faced and unenthused, i reach for the cold silver nossle that will release the medicinal magic potion.

The water begins falling freely from above, my body shutters from the sudden inpact. I stand, alone, solitude...resting my head on the wall as i let the warm water splash on the back of my neck. Looking down at my feet while the water cascades down my body, the water forming a cape around my naked body. thinking, wondering, wishing that this "shield" could protect me from all I fear.

Water continues to run down the contours of who and what i am, now carressing every inch of my being. I shiver, soon follows a gentle squeeze that releases a small part of me that i dont want anyone to see. I place my head under the waterflow, disguising my tears even though theres nobody there to see.

My sorrows flow down my rain like robe and dance their way to the drain, the heavy weight of sadness off my shoulders. My body begins to prune, feeling that ive been here for a lifetime, growing old…watching the water pass by in slow motion. a drastic contrast from this whomb in which i have experienced a rebirth, have i found my salvation. Regardles, whatever it may be, its soon to be left behind, for i must return to the outside world.

I venture away from the cubicle. Again, alone…cold. Back to my reality, wrapping the arms of the towel around me, a gentle embrace…telling myself that everything will be alright. Taking me back to the days of resting my head on my mothers lap, with not a worry in the world…time frozen, wanting to be 8 forever.

The cleansing finished and I wipe myself dry, the cycle complete. Soon to walk out that door. I glance over at the fogged up mirror, thinking about how much it resembles my thoughts. Walking over to the open canvas, placing my finger on this clean slate before me and I begin to write.

What I wrote one will never know, only I… The words will soon disappear, evaporating into the air I breathe. I wonder what the traced outilnes of my finger will taste like.

Time will tell.

"Im missing you in between every breath, every blink, every heartbeat"

- Lauzon -

written by,

The one and only - Big Mouth

Blonde Joke...its not bad LoL. Enjoy :D

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where
she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster".

He then takes her hand and says "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea,
and then.....he said with a deep sigh...............

"Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

The Fury of The Fast Lane"

THE FAST LANE ß Does anyone know what this is, I know lotsa gals DON’T and that’s a fu@king fact. Let me break it down for EVERYONE a.k.a BOTH genders…
the INSIDE LANE is the lane in which FAST MOVING TRAFFIC is designated.

QUICK FACTS (about the inside lane)


- The inside lane is located on the furthest LEFT hand side of the direction you’re traveling

- If you drive a FORD, other then a mustang or a STATION WAGON…you should NOT be on the inside lane

- Once entered onto the INSIDE LANE, contrary to the belief of many… gravitational pull WILL allow you to get OUT of the inside lane.

- You DON’T get better mileage on the inside lane

-If you can’t read what I’m writing – you DEFINITELY shouldn’t be on the inside lane


Here is the golden rule of HIGHWAY DRIVING is this - The INSIDE LANE is for those traveling at HIGHER SPEEDS. If you are on the inside lane and you see a car coming up quickly in your REAR VIEW ( you know, the thing you’re NOT fu@king looking at cause you’re too busy white knuckling it or singing along to NEIL DIAMOND)…that’s YOUR cue to move to the OUTSIDE LANE…that would be the furthest outside lane on your RIGHT, you PRICK!

What gives me instant and absolute rage is when someone is doing their thing on the inside lane, doing about 95-1oo. They see you coming up behind them at 11o – 12o and the outside lane is baron and yet they REFUSE to move to the OUTSIDE LANE…LIKE THEY FU@KING OWN IT.

This is when the SLOW traffic should yield to the QUICKER traffic by moving to the outside lane, letting the faster traffic pass…then by all means, pull back into the inside lane you TURD. In their heads you know they’re saying “I’m already doing the limit, I’m not going to drive any faster then I already am, gosh darnit” and stay in that lane JUST TO PISS YOU OFF -or- throw on their hazards and hit the brakes to make a point, which is more dangerous then the speed in which they oppose so passionately. This is when I wish I could drag these putz’ out of their vehicles and kick their nuts out their @ss!


One would think that the inside lane was in some way performing oral sex on them…if that were the case…I would completely understand ones reluctance to remove themselves from the inside lane. In fact, I would simply sit back, relax…and let the inside lane FINISH, let her clean up…maybe brush her teeth, do the scope thing…THEN make the inside lane MY bi@tch! But of course…that’s not the case, for the inside lane does mpt have lips…it’s a fact.

I’ll tell ya this much, if the inside lane did, in fact… have lips.

INSIDE LANE WOULD BE SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING and telling these individuals to get their Sunday diving @sses to the outside lane or stick to the side roads where they can enjoy the sweet smells of the manure in which I would love to cram down their esophagus so passionately.

Have a nice day.

David.

Give this a shot...

Once again if you could please leave a comment or at least take the poll on the bottom of the page after reading, it would be greatly appreciated :D

Heres the dealio, i get chain letters all the time and for the mostpart, they give me rage lol. I cant stand it when i log on to my email and see a chain letter, or something else where i have to make a fu@king wish. In fact, next time i get one of those emails, im going to take it...and my wish is going to be "never to recieve another one of those emails for as long as i live, and to rid the world of the pieces of trash that continue to do so" then email it to EVERYONE on my list to make SURE that i NEVER get another one of those emails again.

But the most recent one i got came from a reliable source, meaning...they wouldnt send it to me if they didnt think it was pretty damn good. Go figure, it turned out to be quite interesting...definately worth a read.

So im going to pass it along to you. Please leave a comment and let me know if it was accurate for you!

____________________________________________________________________


The Dalai Lama suggests you read this to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. The mind is Like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat. MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST!

There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results. Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down. Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end.

1) Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference: Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig











2) Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea.











(3) Think of someone, who also knows you and is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors. Do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color: Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green.











(4) Finally, write down your favorite number, and your favorite day of the week. FINISHED?




Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT. Look at the interpretations below:

ANSWERS: (1) This will define your priorities in your life. Cow Signifies CAREER Tiger Signifies PRIDE Sheep Signifies LOVE Horse Signifies FAMILY Pig Signifies MONEY

(2) Your description of dog implies your own personality. Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner. Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies. Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex. Your description of the sea implies your own life.

(3) Yellow: Someone you will never forget Orange: Someone you consider your true friend Red: Someone that you really love White: Your twin soul Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

4) You have to send this message to as many persons as your favorite number and your wish will come true on the day that you recorded. This is what the Dalai Lama has said about the Millennium - just take a few seconds to look it up, read it and think. Do not put away this message, the mantra will come out from your hands in the next 96 hours. You will have a very pleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious Please do this. It is fascinating.


Was it accurate for you as well! Tomorrow's BLOG - the "INSIDE LANE" - youre gonna love this one LoL. I let loose on BaD DrIvErz!

David :)

Remember when...you dont, let me remind you :)

Remember the days of sneaking to the phone for late night phone calls that pranced their way to the early morning hours. The cheese 8o’s tunes that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend would proclaim as “your song." what about dancing together in the middle of a gymnasium, trying to sneak your fingers across the belt border, in search of a lil bit of bum grabbin’ action without getting nabbed by a teacher passing by. That, or the ultimate score of somehow getting your hand up her shirt, or her hands down your pants LoL. The nervous trembling hands of a virgin trying to somehow discard the over the shoulder boulder holder :)

Those were the days.

I remember my first kiss, I was no older then 4 and this lil blonde and I were on the school bus…she put her hands down my pants, grabbed my junk and demanded that I stick my tongue down her throat…. Ok, that’s not exactly how it happened. She kissed me and I basically just sat there, confused and completely unaware of what just happened... thinking back, i must of had a chub goin on lol!

My first sexual encounter was pretty much a carbon copy of the story above hahahaha, i was just a lil bit older. Her name was Erin, I was 18 years old and she was 23…she was lacking incredibly in the sex department…I of course, was a fu@king stallion…regardless how small she may say my penis is.

Where did the days of just going for it go, the ages of innocence where you didn’t know any better, furthermore….didn’t care. The older you get the more you tend to complicate things. I think the problem lies in the fact that everything around us changes, job, friends, occupancy, status, responsibility etc.... I guess it's natural that we assume that we have changed as well. When the truth is, in my opinion…we are pretty much the same as we have always been, we just tend to over analyze things instead of just going with the flow. One of my best buddies put it best. "some people are so smart, they are stupid" The same reason why sometimes parents are astonished at some of the things that come out of their kids mouths... kids just see things the way they are, they may not be able to grasp the gravity of the situation, but thats the exact reason why they are able to get past all the crap that we put in our own paths.

Some of have been lied to, made poor decisions in the past and some of us hurt…all of us feeling at one time or another, that we have been deceived, unjustly…so what do we do to make sure that doesn’t happen again, we close that door…or wave red flags when they occur again. Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to wave the red flags…but if we’re not going to learn from your past mistakes and instead just eliminate potentials in which you may think they will arise, you will miss out on a whole lot of what life has to offer.

Just another random thought. Please leave feedback on the bottom of the page, its greatly appreciated. especially if youre not going to leave a comment, you lazy bastards...

Tell me whatcha think...

Here's a different side of Big Mouth a.k.a David :) I like to write, i find it to be a great release... although i prefer to be rude and use a lot of bad words cause i think they make me look cool!
Poetry is about the only thing i write outside of this blog. I dont enjoy writing short stories and novels are a far cry for me, mostly because i read at a grade 4 level.

so heres a quick little read for you. if you like it, please leave a comment...and it would be greatly appreciated if you would take the poll below if you havent already.

If you like this kinda stuff, ill continue to post a poem from time to time. one more thing...

this does NOT make me gay.

:D

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I pour my feelings in an empty glass, wanting you to swallow them whole…

For them to run through your veins and all around your body

Intoxicating emotions now incubated, soon to flourish, swimming freely
- straight to the heart

Breathing hope, kindness, caring and compassion to an ailing heart with
faded fond memories

Stimulating a rebirth, a genesis within… along with it, new tales to be told…

The fable of a man who wants nothing more, then to be the cure… to show you the wonders and satisfaction of a word called “Love”

Pick up the glass – don’t drop it – be gentle and take your time. Indulge this moment – savor it - jump in and take a swim… or just wet your toes.

Because when you’re sitting at the bar of “now til forever”… it’s never last call.